Just to let you know, after discussions with friends, professionals… And most importantly… Family… I decided to stop blogging in the way that I was because, even though I think its still a good thing, it was upsetting pRolle close to me. Mainly because I wasn’t telling them anything about my thoughts and feelings personally, and told the internet instead.
I still think its a story that needs to be documented and told, but instead… I am writing it all on the Mac daily… And will share it when the time is right.
Life is good, learnt a lot in 2 months. Travelled to vegas, and also two weeks away from launching the website I have made.
Allan x
I’m in a Forest with some coke
I’m sat in the Forest with a bottle of coke, don’t panic though! It’s only a 500ml bottle. It was a last minute decision to come to Centre Parcs in Longleat, but a good one. Clearly the most fun that you can have in the woods…. Without wood.
I came here to relax, chillout and have some fun, and i’ve had all those 3 things! I’ve still got nothing to say about the journey from self destruction, but I think that’s probably because I am totally on the self destruction wagon. I’m not getting wound up by small things I’m don’t mind criticism… And I generally feel at ease with life and the beautiful people that have stuck by me. I don’t ever mind the ones that gave up anymore
Going to Vegas next week as I am doing the red carpet reporting from the AVN awards show, it’s a big and hard gig but Fat Steve is coming with me, he thinks to work… And trust me, he will be… But it’s mainly to be my wing man for 4 days… I need him!. I hate the idea of going anywhere but the Isle of Wight at the moment, oh… And Centre Parcs.
I think one of the main reasons I have nothing interesting to report is because I’ve realised that a lot of things I think are just because I am over thinking… That’s a big part of therapy, telling your brain to shut the fuck up sometimes… As you can tell from the way this blog had gone, the therapy is working.
Honestly, I haven’t been in such a good place in so many years.
Speak next week from the USA… Also next week, my new project launches. It’s gonna be big… But it’s.not Radio!
Allan.
Processing
I’m not dead, just processing two Weeks of craziness into something which I guess will end up as a blog if I can find the words on Monday.
But, it’s all good. Life is good, 2012 is working out. But fuck the olympics, they annoy me.
Trapped
Morning, We are all trapped on the Isle of Wight! It’s amazing when this happens! I thought the roof was going to blow off my flouse (Flat like house) last night! I love this weather!
I can’t even get a bus to see the kids 4 miles away, have to walk! Too windy for buses also! This is great, the most exciting the island has been for a while!
It’s all become clear… I’m wasting all this hard earned cash on a therapist.. When all I needed was some props from the movie “Big”.
I’m meant to be having a conference call with some cool Americans, but whilst I wait… Trying to learn how to play the beginning of the Eastenders theme tune on my giant piano.
I gave up smoking as of yesterday afternoon, I am pretty good at giving up… And giving up for a long time. This isn’t part of my ‘journey’… this is purely because my lungs really hurt and the doctor pretty much refuses to look at them when you are a smoker.
Can’t really bash my doctor though, he did put up with me freaking the fuck out on him last week when I took those weird sleeping pills, but like he said… ”You blame your pills, not my telephone bills, nor my automo’bills… then maybe we can chill, I don’t think you do, So you and me are through”. I don’t think we are really through though.
Yeah, so walking around the Isle of Wight, because I have my most (if not all) creative moments whilst on long countryside walks… It’s not as sophisticated as it sounds, I usually have a ‘Ministry of sound’ album burring out at 100 million decibels on these walks. I am looking for a new creative idea, something to do… I don’t know if its going to be a new radio show, something video wise… I Don’t know… But I am seeking a new idea… It’s not come to me yet, but I think with a few more walks it will.
The concept of having something to do in the new year is a must for me, yeah… I can sort myself/head out… but I can’t just do that… I need to have something else to concentrate on… And also I need to find a way to be heard… by an audience.
The idea of No Rules Radio was conceived by a very long walk on a beach in Florida… The idea of making a good living from interviewing pornstars, but hardly even talking about sex was conceived whilst wondering around Cardiff…
The Isle of Wight is certainly going to be the birth place of ‘Big Idea number 3’…. I like to come up with my own ideas, but they are usually inspired by something… if any one has any inspiration…. please let it leak in my general direction.
Anyway, as ideas go… I still think monkey tennis is the best.
